welcome...

This site is designed to give you insight on the nature of my very own being, it has been constructed to allow the expression of all who are in search of something greater than what is simply apparently in front of them... I would like all to be able to express freely their opinions, their feelings, their thoughts and their understandings of this theatre we call life and inturn I would hope to learn much from others as hopefully some may learn something from me. I will document my thoughts and experiences for all to view, in essence I anticipate this to spark up discussion to why life is what it is, and what is it that exactly is...

I do not believe one can reach enlightenment through philosophical discussion, but I do believe, that thought like anything else when exercised grows and flourishes, and thought is an integral part of existance and growth as is spirit...

I wish all that visit this web site inner tranquility, inner freedom and clarity amongst life and living...

ABOUT ME...

My birth name is Stefanos, it is the name given to me by my parents. My culture is a mixture of Greek & Italian & that of a multicultrul Australia. I wont go to deeply in to my past, because I have 26 years of it & it could get lengthy, rather I would like to focus on where I am now, in this moment, in retrospect to that I am well aware that our past affects, shapes & somewhat creates who we are, what we are, how we feel and think, our characters, our personalities, & what action we take today, knowing this, I do not reject my past, it is me, I embrace it, So I continue...

Am in intrigued by life, I am curious by all that is. I love new experiences, I love and feel deeply connected to the mountains, to the ocean, & to nature, I feel a connectedness that at times superseeds any human relationship, this may be difficult to comprehend, but is an extrordinarily beautiful feeling. I am currently heavily involved in physical training, and I take it very seriously, I enjoy all training, and am currently martial arts fight training, in the form of boxing and jujitsu, along this I exert myself physically with cycling, hiking (when I can, as I love altitude), running, and all cross training. i train intensly because it takes me to a place within myself, that is deep and that is singular, it is connected to something higher. Along the benefits of performance on a physical level, this intense and focused training does something else for me, it assists me to find me, who I really am, what i am of, and how I am connected to what surrounds me... Although all that is here is finite, I will embrace this journey i am on for as long as I am meant to, all that I do, and all who cross my path, and bless my being I will acknowledge as a true gift, that is here to enhance my being, for me to learn, and perhaps for me to pass on something from my own being. This is part of the journey I am on, a journey through the maze and labrynth of life...


Namaste for now...

Friday, August 8, 2008

The relationship between "push" and "pull"

REFELCTIONS ON THE BIKE...


As I sit on the saddle sweating, bleeding, working, the salt from sweat stinging my eyes, the wind burning my face, oxygen deprived, burnt, and hurting, I feel those close to me on my wheel, I sense those in front, just in front of my wheel, my muscles burning and full of lactate, my lungs on fire, as each turn, and revolution burns just a little more, and taxes my energy system, more and more. I feel I am losing touch with those infront of my wheel, so close, yet so far, 1 inch becomes 3, becomes 5, becomes 1 foot, becomes 1 metre, then im on my own, what to do, the feeling of lonlines overcomes, becomes overwhelming, contesting with the physical pain is bearabel, it hurts beyond belief, but you know you can hold on, on his wheel, im there, im not far, there is another behind me, but I dont care, just keep spinning, just regulate and maitain the cadence, thats the goal. I reach for water, as if its your saviour, as if there is some miracle in this liquid thats going to provide me with everlasting energy.. Very quickly, very rapidly it is learnt that, that is not the case, it is far from it, and if anything the more you drink the more you want and the heavier you become...

Still dropping off, still dropping back, I contest with the physical pain, and in the same instance my mind (already weakened ) by pain experiences flashes of disapointment, resentment in my self, in my weakness, in my performance, in my weakness of mind, as I fall back further and further, my mind has arlready decided and pre empted my fate, you've failed, you've lost, you are already last, why keep trying, why keep pushing, your becoming weaker, your hurting more, you cannot recover from this, your falling back too far, let it go, just spin over the line, just relax, you cannot win...

The mind self defeats itself and all that is connected to it...

Shame... Its not the body thats weak, yes it's hurting, BUT, if we allow the mind to go, let it go where it wants, allow the mind to partake in any form it chooses, surely the body has no choice but to follow...
My attitude alters, change your inner voice, it's screams at you to pick it up, what you are experiencing is not simply physiological, your body is depleated, yes, but can be reinforced and refuelled by the power of thought and feeling, fill every cell in your body with power, with power of thought, and power of action, your cadence increases, your power out put hightens, your will, your drive is throbbing with one thing and one thing only, do! do! do!

All you can concentrate on is; get them, get them, catch them, work, work, work!

"When they are resting, I am working, when they are working, I am working even harder..." Stef S Sifandos.
Thats is the power of the mind... That is the difference between pulling back and pushing forward...

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